It’s Democracy When <em>I</em> Say So

Laughably, The Wall Street Journal‘s Mary Anastasia O’Grady would have you believe Honduras’ widely condemned military coup was all about protecting democracy. Silly Mary.

But, hey, it’s not like her brand of fascist-friendly insanity doesn’t garner fans. We raided her inbox to bring you one especially illuminating sample:

From: Jim Schmitd
To: O'Grady@wsj.com
Sent: Monday, June 29, 2009 11:50 PM
Subject: Thank you...

…for setting the world straight on Honduras.

Changing term limits to try and stay in office is totally commie–unless, of course, it’s a respectable billionaire like Mike Bloomberg doing it without popular referendum. Bloomberg would never let the unwashed masses vote on something like that, so how dare that hippie bastard down there think he can?

I don’t care if it was just to explore the possibility; a guy like Honduras’ President Manuel Zelaya shouldn’t even be allowed to think about it. Did he ever run a major company? A backwards country like Honduras needs big business and rich people in control even more than we do–not some jerk trying to raise the standard of living for the average loser. That’s just way too much democracy. When you get so many dirty poors voting on things it’s basically communism, if not worse.

So you’re absolutely right. Good thing the military stepped up and took over. What the hell is that ugly dyke Hillary Clinton complaining about? The general who took charge is one of our guys, trained at the U.S. Army’s School of Americas! What side is she and Obama on anyway? General Vasquez knows how to handle poor whiners and the commie democracy-fetishists that get them riled up. Maybe now we can get the corporations down there and get to business–like the good old days, when we had our guy General Juan Melgar Castro and death squads like Battalion 316. Remember?

“The intelligence unit, known as Battalion 316, used shock and suffocation as devices in interrogations. Prisoners often were kept naked and, when no longer useful, killed and buried in unmarked graves. Newly declassified documents and other sources show that the CIA and the U.S. Embassy knew of numerous crimes, including murder and torture, yet continued to support Battalion 316 and collaborate with its leaders.”

- Baltimore Sun, 6/11/95

That’s what I’m talking about! You’ve gotta show those little brown bastards who’s boss. Torture. Strong men. That’s all they really understand. You know the deal.

So thanks for calling a spade a spade, sister. You’re one smart lady.

Are you single?

Fondly yours,

Jim